because i know all the reasons

why i am here

today she got naked and shook her tiny ass in my face chanting "shake yr booty! shake yr booty!" she refused to get dressed until we found her fairy costume and then fell asleep on my chest with gauze wings crushing into her back. he was going through my purse and i asked him what he was doing and he said "looking for yr wallet." she said come downstairs, dance party, and i was confident after playing cinderella, cleaning every crack of the goddamn tile floor. my thumbknuckle leaking blood the whole time i am clean and clean and clean and clean.

i said i wouldn't do this again

I Had Not Cried MySelf To Sleep In Such A Long While

pt. II

leave the calendar at november

suddenly everything becomes about myself. it is only
& just, me. it becomes life as retribution

who knows it becomes

who have i been who was i then who am i

now?

phases.

how much
control
what need

ever a changing notion

damn heart

fuck this, i'm gonna go buy a bottle of wine

1 4 1 4 one for

you grab a line and i'll grab a pole honey
you grab a line and i'll grab a pole babe

you grab a line and i'll grab a pole
we'll all go down to the crawdad hole
honey, sweet baby, mine

total bookgasm

came home to the essence of karyna mcglynn on my goddamn doorstep.





THE SUN IS SHINING BEST DAY EVER

still in celebration of

no direction. ann arbor is the loneliest place to be lonely. rain slapping the window panes. they weren't building a treehouse, they were cutting the tree down. i want more meaning, or purpose.

-u--.

definition

__________________ n. infestation with cysticerci.


__________________ vt. to utilize less of a sound reproduction or transmission device than optimally possible.


__________________ adj. 1. not orderly or stable : DISORDERED 2. liable to vary : UNCERTAIN 3. not determined or resolved 4. not paid or adjusted 5. unpopulated. 6. not fixed or established.


__________________ n. a crystalline sterol, C28H44O, synthesized by yeast from sugars or derived from ergot and converted under ultraviolet irradiation to vitamin D2.


__________________ n. 1. sirius. 2. procyon.


__________________ n. embarrassment or humiliation caused by failure or disappointment.


__________________ adj. 1. lacking teeth. 2. lacking force


__________________ n. 1. a woman porter or doorkeeper, esp. in a convent. 2. a charwoman.


__________________ adj. 1. occurring unexpectedly and unintentionally. 2. not intrinsic : NONESSENTIAL 3. mus. of or denoting a sharp, flat, or natural not indicated in the key signature. --n. 1. a nonessential circumstance or attribute. 2. mus. a chromatically altered note not belonging to the key signature.




IN RE: LISTENING TO 'THE GIFT' OF VELVET U'S WHITE LIGHT/WHITE HEAT

because it's that feeling of my body not being my body not wanting my body to be my body my brain wishing hoping trying to GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET

america aka america

back from






nothing lasts that long

i think someone is building a treehouse across the street

often (disambiguation)

it is bereft of explanation,
it is beyond consideration.
at this point i don't know where
we is where you am where she says

each of her feet is a lake
she says object she says
obliteration i think obligation,

accidentally intentional, i buy another
round. i take another hit, i
ask another question.

it's not that i want to hear
the answer. i don't even wait for it--

i just watch her face, listen
to the lilt and pull of her voice,
falling intonation, pitching cadence,

the golden leaves at my back,
wind through the fresh shorn trees.

hail mary, thou art all hollows
of this airnoise, thou art this final
flight of steps. thou art my separate
moment--the space of self, the stuff
of autumnal first moon, this equinox,
this november.

thou art the one i fear most.

i touch my elbow. i touch my lips.
i hold my finger to that moment.

i ask again. she has to rephrase herself.
i don't listen i don't wait
for the answer i ask myself
another question

but what will we do
when the oberon runs out
but what will we do
when this season ends,
bleeding yellow

into the tendrils of the next

why leave?

sleep with the lights on

there is so much time

WHAT IF DISTANCE

there is so much space

WHAT IF NOSTALGIA

overlap of time and space

IF ONLY

one for __ and one for __ what

OR

if together only we

MAYBE

exist there what if

__

together things would never


break


. . .

heartbreak if only for the memory

memory if only for the heartbreak

writing between

distance if only for missing

the lines

heartbreak distance memory missing

the

nostalgia

intention

if only


. . .


industrialized together we can navigate

. . .

of leaving __'s when i woke up
early every day last autumn
turned winter to the thousands
and thousands of crows in the tree

[totality]
tops losing leaving
they become visible

. . .

corvidae:

grrrl

whatchou keepin' in there / how you get to be how you are / how old old how


we still are
anything
we ever were









gold gold gold gold gold gold
yellow gold gold GOD G-D g-ld